


Makes me feel worthless, hopeless, sick

by crookedspoon



Series: Exchange Fics [57]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Batman: A Death in the Family, F/M, Forced to Suck on a Gun, Fucked with a Gun, M/M, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, POV Jason Todd, Painful Sex, Parent/Child Incest, Vaginal Sex, forced to fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 22:01:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21483529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: All Jason wanted to do was help.
Relationships: Joker/Jason Todd, Sheila Haywood/Jason Todd
Series: Exchange Fics [57]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/51139
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74
Collections: Naughty List 2019





	Makes me feel worthless, hopeless, sick

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HandmaidenOfHorror](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandmaidenOfHorror/gifts).

When Jason set out to find his mom, he'd been hoping for a joyful family reunion. The kind he got when he first showed up and his mom tearfully fell around his neck. That was nice. He sure would have liked to see more of it.

What he did not want to see was himself on the wrong end of her revolver.

"What should we do with him?" his mom asks the Joker.

Jason doesn't understand the world anymore. She seemed to be in trouble with the Joker, and all he wanted to do was help. Why would she side with the clown all of a sudden and turn on Jason like that?

"Something I've wanted to do for years," Joker says and clips him with the butt of his gun.

It's not the worst he's ever gotten, but he repays Joker in kind just the same. A well-placed punch to the face that the clown didn't enjoy in the least. Joker's goons are on him a second later, punching and kicking until Jason is curling up on the ground.

"That wasn't a very nice thing to do to Uncle Joker," the clown says. "You've been a bad boy. you must be punished!"

In retrospect, the worst Jason's ever gotten were mere lovetaps compared to the blows from the crowbar that follow. 

\---

Jason comes to with a splitting headache and the taste of blood in his mouth.

"What shall we do with her, boss?" one of the Joker's grunts asks through the whistling in Jason's ears.

"Let me go, you brute!"

"Throw her to the dogs for all I care," Joker says disdainfully. "She's of no use to me anymore."

"What? You can't do that! I got you what you wanted. You can't treat me like this!"

"Au contraire, ma petite cherie. I must. Can't have you tattling about my little outburst just now." Joker draws himself up grandiosely and steeples his fingers on his chest. "I'm a businessman now, see. I have an image to maintain."

"Don't," Jason interrupts as loudly as he can. Which is not much louder than a groan. Breathing hurts. Joker must have cracked a rib or something. "Don't hurt her."

"What was that?" Joker places a hand behind his ear, to mime attentive listening. "Birdboy wants to play the hero?"

"Let her go."

"Now why would I do that? That would be crazy – even for me!"

Jason's head is still swimming and he can't come up with a convincing argument fast enough. Not like he has much to bargain with. He grits his teeth, and winces. One of them is loose.

"Hmm, on second thought..." Joker taps the barrel of his gun against his pointy chin. "Since you're already here, we might as well have some _fun!"_

He stops tapping his chin and points the gun straight at Jason's head.

"Jason!" his mother cries out, struggling in her captor's grip.

"It's okay, mom," Jason calls back, keeping his eyes fixed on Joker. "Don't worry."

It's a bold claim from someone staring down a muzzle, but Jason is in too much pain to care or think things through. All he knows is that the longer he can keep the Joker occupied, the better his chances of Batman arriving before Joker can get away again.

"Mom? She's your mother?" Joker throws his head back and laughs, nearly falling over from the force of it. It's a scary sight, watching the Joker shake with laughter, but Jason doesn't stop him. When Joker is done doubling over and clutching his sides, he straightens up with an amused sigh and wipes a fake tear. "This day just keeps getting better and better. You're probably craving the comfort of her bosom. Boys."

He waves his gun dismissvely in the direction of his goons, and although Jason can't read a clear directive in it, Joker's henchmen seem to understand just fine. They grab his mother's blouse and rip it open. She struggles to fight them off. One of the buttons lands right next to him.

"Stop!" he protests. "What the fuck are you doing? Leave her alone!"

"I'm just helping you find comfort, boy."

Pain erupts across Jason's scalp as Joker's fingers twist into his hair and drags him toward his mother. Jason loses his balance as Joker shoves him against her chest. The lacy edge of her bra scratches his cheek. Her skin is soft and warm, almost searing, and her heart is thudding rapidly. Jason stomach twists. His mother is afraid and it's all his fault.

"Go on, suck on your mother's teat."

"Screw you," Jason growls.

He hates Joker for perverting this. Under different circumstances, Jason might have liked to rest his head on his mother's chest, her arms gently wrapped around him, hugging him, safe and secure. She smells nice, a faint layer of sweat over lavender soap and laundry detergent. It could have soothed him.

"No, no, no," Joker tuts. "I wouldn't want to get between your lovely family reunion."

With his gloved fingers, he peels down his mother's lacy bra and smooshes Jason's face into her soft, soft breast. Jason has never been with a woman before and didn't know what to expect. He certainly didn't expect it to feel so... nice. But this is his mother and she shouldn't be exposed like this.

Joker rubs Jason's bloodied face against his mother's breast, staining it red. Jason tries to fight it and so does she. Not that it's any use. Joker won't let this go.

"Don't you want your mother's breast, son?" the clown asks, feigning surprise as he pulls Jason off just enough so he can see the glint of a knife at his mother's throat. She's suddenly very still. "Come on, give it a try. I insist."

Jason feels cold. There has to be a way out of this situation that he hasn't seen yet. He can't do that to his mother; he can't play right into the clown's hands. And yet... he doesn't want her to get hurt. Joker is an unpredictable sadist who may slit his mother's throat at a moment's notice or who may not harm them at all because he's decided that living with the memories he's given them will be far more excruciating than any physical punishment he can dish out. Whatever it's going to be, Jason can't take chances.

He swallows the guilt he feels and looks his mother in the eye, hoping to find some kind of direction there. She just closes her eyes and nods almost imperceptibly, tears glistening at the corners of her eyes.

"I'll get you for this, you sick clown," she growls under her breath.

Trembling and feeling sick, Jason latches onto his mother's nipple and suckles like the Joker's wanted him to. Beneath him, his mother inhales sharply. She arches against him, her hips twitching, and Jason's cheeks heat.

"Seems like you're doing good, boy," the Joker coos. "Your mother seems to be enjoying your _special _attention. I bet she wants you to make her feel even better."

Joker tugs Jason away by his hair again and motions his henchmen to take off his mother's jeans. One of them is holding her arms behind her back while the other is ripping open her fly.

"No! Stop that! Let me go!" she cries, writhing and kicking, trying to throw the burly men off her. But they're too strong.

"Will you gag that woman already?" Joker sneers. "I can't hear myself think with all that wailing."

The henchmen, like all of Joker's hired help, are obviously not the brightest, because they hesitate, as if they didn't know which of Joker's orders to follow first. Jason is glad for any second they can gain, even if at this point nothing feels like a win anymore. _Bruce, where are you?_

Jason has never felt so helpless or so useless before as he watches the men gag his mother and strip her of her jeans. He should be preventing this from happening, and yet he just sits there, trembling with impotent rage and some shameful desire he can't name, as if he's morbidly curious how everything is going to play out.

"Have you ever pleasured a woman before, Jason?" the Joker breathes into his ear, breath foul and hot, and Jason starts.

"Go to hell, you freak," Jason spits, but as with everything he's thrown at the Joker so far, it's utterly ineffectual.

"You haven't? Why, today's your lucky day, then! You get to learn a new skill _and _do something nice for your mother. Aren't you glad you raised such a sweet little boy, Sheila?"

Joker's grunts are spreading her legs wide, and no matter how hard she struggles, her glistening privates are exposed for all to see.

Jason's stomach twists as Joker pushes him forward again.

"No, no, no," he protests, "you can't do that."

"Don't you want to please you mother, boy? Tsk, youth. Not a grateful bone in their body. Do I have to break every one of them before you show some respect? Look how wet she is for you already. Do you really want to make her wait?"

Joker yanks at Jason's hair, tipping his head up and running the barrel of his gun over Jason's exposed throat.

"Or do you prefer to have a hard, steely rod in your mouth?" he asks and shoves his gun past Jason's lips.

Jason nearly chokes on his spit in surprise. Joker rhythmically slides the gun across Jason's tongue, making him drool and, eventually, swallow around it.

"There, that's it. I knew your filthy kid would be into that. Isn't he just delicious like this? I might even have to take a bite out of him myself!" Joker barks a laugh. Indignant fire warms Jason's cheeks and he glares through his bangs. Not that Joker is looking. "It seems we have a masochist on our hands."

Horror spreads across Jason's skin as Joker runs his fingers down Jason's tunic. Jason wants to shake his head, to say something, to curse the Joker or demand that he stop, but any words of protest are muffled by the gun in his mouth.

Joker hooks his thumb behind the waistband and pushes Jason's shorts down. Jason tries to scramble away but Joker's arms are deceptively strong. To Jason's great shame, his dick is not hanging limply between his thighs, but showing some hesitant signs of interest.

"See?" Joker says, and gives Jason's dick a sharp tug. Jason's back arches. "Isn't that flattering, Sheila? This is a tribute to you."

Joker twists Jason's growing erection this way and that, as if waving with it. 

"What to do, what to do?" Joker muses, still leisurely fucking Jason's mouth with the gun. His skin is tingling and nervous sweat is trickling down his face. He tries not to move a muscle. The gun is loaded and the safety's off. Jason doesn't really care what happens to him, but as long as he's alive, there's hope for him and his mother.

All of a sudden, Jason bucks up and cries out sharply around the gun in his mouth. Heat and pleasure shoot through him in equal measures, and Jason barely dares look down because he knows what he's going to see: his mother, her lips stretched around his erection, with a goon's hand in her hair, guiding her along Jason's length. She's puffing against

"Knew you'd like that one, kid."

Jason's spit dribbles down his chin as Joker finally pulls the gun out. Jason has just enough time for a cut-off moan before the Joker shoves his tongue inside Jason's mouth. It's foul and disgusting, but Jason hardly pays it any mind. All of it is preoccupied with his mother's hot mouth that's sucking at him so deliciously. It's devastating. He's never felt anything this good in his life and it has to happen here, with this company. Jason could cry. The exquisite suction is certainly moving him to tears.

His hips are moving on his own by now, seeking out more of that sweet, soft heat of his mother's mouth. The goons don't even have to move her head anymore. He feels something come to a point inside of him, but before he can move towards it, his mother is pulled off of him.

"Time for you to make a man out of your son, wouldn't you say?"

With her gag replaced, Jason's mother glares at Joker and the gun he's pointing at her face with all the hatred she can muster.

Joker is unperturbed and grasps Jason's dick again. Jason is going cross-eyed from the pleasure, even if Joker's gloved embrace is not at all comfortable. He's holding Jason's erection steady until his goons have hoisted his mother – Sheila, he should probably be thinking of her as Sheila now – over it. Jason's dick pulses when it touches her down there and he sucks in a sharp breath. Joker rubs the tip through her moist folds like a joystick, slicking him up just a little, as if that taste of her would be enough to prepare Jason for the moment she's forced down on him.

Jason throws his head back against Joker's shoulder and cries out. If he thought her mouth was hot, her insides are positively scorching. This is all so wrong, and yet he can't help thinking that he's not going to last at all. That he _wants _to last. But how can he when even the tiniest movement of her hips makes him feel like he's about to spill?

Through all of this, Jason barely hears the hiss of a zipper before he falls onto back. Small rocks dig into his shoulders and his hands that are crushed beneath his weight. Jason concentrates on that instead of the mind-bending pleasure his mo—Sheila makes him feel. She's riding him now, gliding up and down on his erection that is twitching and leaking and ready to burst.

Then his head is twisted to the side and something long and hard shoves past his lips into his mouth. Jason nearly sputters when it hits the back of his throat, but then his eyes roll into the back of his head because in that short moment of convulsion he's driven himself deeper into Sheila, who is breathing heavier now and letting her momentum help her as she impales herself on Jason's dick over and over again.

Getting fucked from both sides is too much for Jason to handle and the moment Joker stabs his cock into Jason's mouth again it's over. Jason comes with a strangled cry. Pulse after pulse shoots out of his oversensitive dick and he's trembling like a man dying of hypothermia.

"Hah," the Joker laughs and snaps Jason out of it. "Look at this. He barely has a cock inside his mouth and already he's coming like a fountain. Quite the slut, are you?"

A wave of shame drives itself through Jason and sudden cold settles on his skin when Sheila is pulled off of him.

But Jason is given no time to contemplate what he's just done. He barely has time to gulp in lungfuls of dry desert air when Joker grabs a fistful of his hair again and hoists him up by it.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," he admonishes. "Maybe your mother hasn't raised such a gentleman after all. That was a selfish thing you did, coming so soon. Weren't you thinking of your poor mother at all, leaving her unfilled like that?"

Joker shoves him forward and Jason crashes onto his face again with his ass raised and bare. He's so close to Sheila's core, he can smell her arousal.

"Be a good boy and clean your mother up, Jason," Joker suggests as if it's the most normal thing in the world. "You don't want her to get pregnant with your child, do you?"

There's muffled cry of rage from Sheila, but all Jason feels are icicles in his veins. He didn't even think that far.

"And make sure she comes this time," Joker says, grinding Jason's face against Sheila's wet pussy.  
"It's the least you can do for using her the way you did. Tsk, no shame these youngsters nowadays. Knocking up their own mothers, and not a word of thanks."

With his nose and mouth against Sheila, Jason can barely breathe. His throat is tight, the pit in his stomach vast and sickening. Jason feels so many things at once that he doesn't know whether he wants to give in to his exhaustion and collapse, to break down crying, or to lave at Sheila in guilty rapture.

He doesn't have much control over his choices, because Joker rubs Jason's face through Sheila's folds whether either of them want it or not. Jason is gasping for air, inhaling and nearly drowning in her sweet, intoxicating scent. She tastes like summer, like rainfall on a sun-baked street, and Jason feels ill for finding pleasure in this where there should be none. Sheila's juices are staining his lips and running down his chin and he laps them up eagerly, dragging his tongue through her molten core and sucking at her lips. Her hips are meeting his face, grinding so that his nose rubs against her clit. He tilts his head to capture the nub in his mouth and suck on it like candy. He's so into the taste and feel of her against his mouth he forgets what he's doing. Until a high-pitched whine startles him back to the present.

Sheila is positively quivering in her captors' grip, a sheen of sweat sparkling on her skin. Her taste heavily on his tongue, Jason feels his dick flex again, standing upright and straining, as if ready to penetrate her again.

"Well, well," Joker drawls, "looks like you're quite the lady pleaser. And you're hard again, too." 

A chill zips up Jason's spine as Joker taps something cold and hard against his burning erection. Joker is rubbing his gun over his length and his twitching balls.

"Such a naughty boy. Even your pretty little hole wants in on the action, clenching and unclenching the way it is, as though it's winking at me."

Jason's jaw doesn't work beyond a strangled "—uh?" when Joker pulls Jason's ass cheeks apart and presses his thumb against the rim of Jason's hole. Jason tries to scramble away.

"What? Are you a virgin here, too? I could have sworn Batman had broken you in already. Made you his boy toy."

"Fuck you," Jason mumbles around his heavy tongue.

"No? Hmm. Guess he was only thinking about it, then. I mean, why else would he have you run around in these panties if he wasn't imagining you bent over on a roof somewhere with his cock crammed inside your ass? I'm imagining it right now!" Joker cackles. "I think he won't mind if I help myself to a slice of you."

Jason yelps when he feels something cold press into his hole. Jason can feel all the color drain from his face in slow motion.

"How about we fuck your mom together?" Joker asks and wedges the gun deeper into Jason's ass. It burns, despite the cool metal. "You'd like to be inside her again, isn't that right? I could start a rhythm."

And he does, fucking the gun in and out of Jason. It hurts. It hurts too much for Jason to even cry out, to do so much as shift away, because in moving he only makes it hurt worse. And Joker, the sadistic bastard, is _humming._ Like he's having the time of his life trying to see how much of the barrel he can get Jason to take.

It feels like all of it, like it's impossibly deep already and then Joker seems to find another half inch that he can force into Jason. It's too much. Jason is openly sobbing by the time the trigger guard catches on his rim. Joker works the gun in and out of him fast now, brushing against a spot inside Jason that sends sparks right to the tip of his dick.

Jason comes with a surprised cry when Joker swirls his thumb over the oozing head. He wishes he wouldn't. He clenches hard around the gun in his ass and that makes the pain more intense.

Even before Jason is finished, Joker throws him on top of Sheila as if he were nothing more than a rag doll. 

"I'm so sorry," Jason whimpers, lying uselessly on his stomach, unable to move with his hands bound behind his back. "I'm sorry I got us into this mess."

Sheila is grunting angrily through her gag.

From this angle, he can't see her expression even as she's trying to look down on him. He thinks it's stormy. All Jason wanted to do was help, but all he did do was make things worse. It's like that's his brand. Come in, fuck shit up, especially for himself and his allies. Sheila must hate him so much right now and will likely never want to see him again. So much for searching for his biological mother.

Jason bites Sheila's gag and shoves a breath out through his nose as Joker pulls his used hole apart with his thumbs.

Sheila shakes her head until she's free of her gag.

"You've had your fun, you pale-faced creep," she spits. "Now let us go."

A shot reverberates through the warehouse, making Jason jump. His ears are ringing with it. At first, he supposes it must have been a warning shot meant to scare them into submission again. When something warm and when trickles down his face, he thinks it must be tears brought on by the shock. Only when his vision rights itself again does he register Sheila's bloody face. 

Horror dawns on Jason like never before. His mother is dead. Joker killed her. All this trouble, and then Joker kills his mother before his eyes.

Through the whistling in his ears, Jason can make out the henchmen complaining about how they would have liked a turn with Sheila as well.

"Oh well," Joker says nonchalantly, "she'll be warm for a little while longer. You don't mind that, do you, kid? At least now you can do whatever you want with her without having to worry about whether she likes it or not. One less thing to worry about."

"I'm going to kill you," Jason roars. The effect of this statement is lost through his ineffectual thrashing, but he makes up for it with vehemence. One day, he _is _going to kill the clown and if it's the last thing he does.

"Oh, don't be sad, boy," Joker says. You can rest assured that you at least showed her the way to heaven before she died."

Before Jason can curse his wretched existence again, Joker forces the muzzle of his gun back into Jason's mouth. It's hot to burning and tastes of gunpowder smoke.

"Get her out of my sight," he tells his men. "Do with her what you want. Bury her in the desert, leave her out to rot, it's all the same to me."

"Yes, boss," the henchmen say and pick Sheila's body off the floor. Some of Jason's resolve cracks with her gone.

"Now it's just you and me," Joker says, brushing a strand of hair behind Jason's ear. Jason shudders. "Don't worry, kid. I'm doing this for your own good."

Jason's stomach lurches as he feels something blunt rub against his hole. Blunt and warm.

"You'll be able to assist Batsy so much better once I'm done with you."

Joker's cock seems wider than his gun, or maybe Jason is still raw from before and everything feels three times its size. His eyes widen the more of Joker's cockhead presses inside him. His heart is pounding twice as fast as usual; his breath is coming in shallow bursts.

"He'll thank us both for the _hard _work we put in." Joker guffaws.

The stretch is unbearable. Jason thinks he's going to tear.

"Though I bet you'll like your reward much more than I will."

Hot tears slide down his face. He's trapped. There's no way out of this unless Batman comes and saves him. And Batman isn't coming.

"Batman never appreciates the things I do for him. The things I sacrifice. I know you understand that. The other Robin did." 

Joker is rocking his hips now, forcing himself deeper and punching a sob out of Jason with every snap of his hips. 

"Batman is not even coming to get you now," Joker sounds almost sympathetic as he sighs. "Maybe he's already found himself another sidekick. He does that sometimes, as you would know. But don't you worry, birdboy. You can be my sidekick from now on." 

By the time the Joker bottoms out, Jason no longer cares who finds him. Or if anyone does. He doesn't deserve to get rescued anyway. This is his punishment for getting his mom killed. Even if Bruce doesn't find him, it's a mild one, considering.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "I'm So Sick" by Flyleaf.


End file.
